Every one of us has a large number of people who come and go in our lives.
Of the 7.125 billion people in this world, your commitment to just a small few runs deep. Think about that… so many people in this world and you’ve got “your people”. Maybe it’s your spouse, or your partner, or your kids, or a grandparent, or a best friend, or your mom or dad, or a furry friend. Whomever they are, you can name them right off the bat because they’ve captured a place in your life and heart that very few others have access to.
At some point, you looked into their eyes and said – whether out loud or in your deepest soul – “we’re in this together.” And you meant it.
So, I’m going to get raw and real with you for a few minutes. I need to start by asking you a question…
How are you making them a priority?
The hard truth is we spend time on those things that are a priority. It’ll serve us well to read that last sentence again.
We spend time on those things that are a priority.
We just published an article last week written by affiliate owner and 321Go business coach, Don Moss, entitled “Help, I’m An Overworked Owner!” and it got a ton of downloads. This is both great, and alarming. What this tells me is that many of you feel overwhelmed as you are drowning in your sea of building a business.
I spoke with a business owner this past week and his comment was “I just don’t know that I can take much more.” The pure overwhelm in his voice was deafening. 70-80 hour work weeks are causing serious burnout. His end of rope seems way too close in his mind… and his fear was palpable.
Like a mountain range, business owners will always experience high peak moments and moments so low they think they’ll never reach the top. There will most certainly be times when they’ll need to put in an excess of hours. But, if they – if you – find yourself in a constant state of perpetual low, something’s gotta change.
I say this first and foremost because it most likely means the relationships that matter the most to you in this world are suffering. Your people – the ones you love more than anything – aren’t feeling connected to you.
You’ve heard the quote about how rarely on someone’s death bed do they regret not spending more time at the office. Same is true for affiliate owners – I doubt any will wish they spent more time cleaning the floors.
So what do you do? How do you create space for those who matter the most in your world?
Begin by evaluating yourself on these things below. Where are you allowing your life (business) to run you, as opposed to you taking charge and running it by filling it with more of those you love?
Determine who are your priorities.
Get out a piece of paper and write their names down. Seeing their name on a piece of paper somehow makes it a little more real. The names of those who you committed to – either out loud before a watching crowd or in your heart of hearts. The ones who are “your people”.
If you let yourself, you can keep saying “just one more email”, “just one more class”, “just one more process to build”, and then give them the leftover crumbs from your time. The work will always be never ending. You’re a business owner, for crying out loud… that’s part of what being an entrepreneur IS. So, push away from the computer. Walk away from the gym. Put the To Do list down. And schedule in time for those who really matter. You schedule time for classes; schedule “date nights” for your people. And then guard and honor those times with your life.
Be in the moment.
When you do spend time with your special ones, be present. Put your phone down. Look in their eyes. Ask questions. Get to know them. Even after 50+ years of marriage, my Mom and Dad are still learning things about each other and they will tell you they are more in love today than they ever have been. Because they were serious when they committed to each other way back when.
Be grateful for at least one thing every day.
When you first were getting to know this person/these people, you would do absolutely anything for them. You noticed things that mattered. You told them often how thankful you were for them. You went out of your way to make their lives better. Get back to this. Remind yourself why you committed to them in the first place and begin reinvigorating your thankful spirit. It’s easy to focus on the negative. Don’t do it. Choose to see their beauty. And tell them out loud how thankful you are for them, and why.
And this last one is interesting. If there’s one thing that causes more angst in relationships than most anything else, it’s money. So, as a business owner…
Get your finances in order.
For those of us who have chosen to navigate our own career path instead of following someone else’s, money can be one of the biggest stressors in any close relationship. At 321Go, we’ve recently (re)discovered an exceptional book called Profit First by Mike Michalowicz. The concepts in this book are transforming many of our clients businesses (you can check out our recent podcast, talking about Profit First here). Far too many of our clients who begin to work with us haven’t paid themselves since they opened their doors. If this is you, you are just ushering in copious amounts of stress into your life and relationships. We all need money to live. Our businesses, while wonderful that we started them with the vision to help others, need to also be consistently generating a profit. Stop making excuses. If you’re not a “money person”, make the sacrifice and hire a business coach. If you hire a good coach, the guarantee is that it will pay you back in dividends. Give your coach permission to ask you the hard questions. (And, as a side note, make sure your accountant isn’t just giving you reports; hold them accountable to educate you.) There are exceptional business coaches out there and then there are many who aren’t worth your time or money – they are only doing it for what’s in it for them and don’t genuinely care about your business or success. If you don’t know where to find a good coach, reach out to me (email below) and I’ll set you up on a free discovery call with one of our top-notch business coaches.
I recently listened to an interview with Jeff Weiner, CEO of LinkedIn. At the end of the interview, he was asked, “What are you most proud of?” His answer was something that’s stuck with me…
“I’m most proud of the fact that I look forward to going to work every day, and I look forward to coming home every night.”
What a statement to be proud of!! And you could tell by how he said it that it was real talk. Can you say this? If he can say this as busy as he must be, so can we.
I can’t stop thinking that life is short. If you are still reading this article and you end up finding yourself at the end of your life with regrets, the hard truth is that it’s no ones fault but your own.