I recently had two very different conversations.
They were both with people who’ve had really hard cards dealt to them in this life. I mean, really hard.
Each had every right to complain. Each had legitimate reasons to get off track, or even quit.
The difference was one used the difficulties to empower her and propel her forward, and the other used those difficulties as a rite of passage to complain. To be a modern day Eeyore.
I found myself extremely drawn to the one and willing to help in any way I could, and wanting the conversation with the other to be over as quickly as possible.
Does it mean I don’t care about the complainer? On the contrary. I care so much that I want to enter in and help in anyway that I can. But I can’t help if someone doesn’t want to help themselves.
I recently heard a quote that has made a huge impact on me… “People don’t want to help you if you complain.”
Simple but so true.
Read that again… “People don’t want to help you if you complain.”
The hard truth is… nobody cares, if you complain. Oh, you may get the ears of a few, but they will quickly and mysteriously fade away.
But, if you embrace the suck and use it to fuel your influence and impact, you will see that people will rise up and rally to help.
The hard things are what tell the good stories… IF you let them. Sure, you have a right to complain, but the impactful people I know use those hard things to turn them into amazing stories of change.
We all have our hard. And some days, no doubt, each one of us feels like we’re in an ocean caught in the riptide wondering where air is. Maybe even for you it’s a lot more than “some days”.
I have a friend who has been dealt more crap in this life than any one person should ever have to deal with….
Could she complain and turn into the victim because of all the hurt she’s experienced? Could she use all the pain as reasons to justify checking out? Could she let circumstances control her reactions? Absolutely.
But, she won’t do that. Because she knows it will do no good. She has chosen to be strong.
She uses the hard things as a force to become different, and better.
She is strong. She is kind. She is a fighter. And as a result, she impacts people in life-changing ways.
Here at 321Go, we see gym owners all the time in both camps. Some are stuck in complaining, woe-is-me mode… “I’ll never have what they have”, blaming everything on things external.
But… then.there.are.others – many others – who have grabbed the bull by the horns, and said, “No sir. Not today. Not on my watch. This business is MINE and I’m going to make something freaking awesome out of it, whatever it takes.”
These are the people we want on our team. These are the people who get it. These are the people seeing change happen. These are the people telling amazing stories.
You’ve got hard. I’ve got hard. That’s a given.